| New Stanley hotel is beginning
construction in Estes Park. This scenic location is ideal for a
tourist location. Scenic mountains, great weather in the summer and
the winter. Denver Rio Grande & Pacific railroad is hard at work
running a line up the canyon. We need strong workers to help with all
aspects of construction of this five star luxury hotel. We need anyone
who has any kind of construction skill to help build this facility.
Great wages and long term employment opportunities abound. Send a
telegram for more information or just stop by and talk to the foreman about
a job! |
| Editors Note: Reports that the Rocky Mountain
News is a biased newspaper organization have been proven to be untrue.
Likewise similar reports that the organization ignores glaring
inaccuracies and blatant truths about the nature of the universe because
they do not fit into our model of the world have also been proven
untrue. |
| Wanted: Bounty Hunters to handle embarrassing freelance
reporters writing inaccuracies about The Rocky Mountain News.
Discretion is a must. Please apply in person at the Editor's
Office. |
|
come to new Z univerxity in scenik
eldora coloradO. only sMartest humanz can lern at new univerxity.
BIggEr your brain, beter u can lern. HUry, space is small N many want
to Greeet u. RaE sez Yum two food |
"They
ain't gonna get this ranch o mine!" declares local Denver rancher Emilio
Gustav. Emilio owned three local cattle ranches. Recently a
group of marauding bandits has been preying on local ranchers and incoming
trains. Emilio has lost two of his three ranches to the gangs.
Emilio has worked out a deal with the local Union army to acquire some
experimental weaponry in an attempt to fight off the bandits. Only
time will tell if Emilio is successful. The Rocky Mountain News wishes
Emilio the best of luck and if he manages to survive, The Rocky Mountain
News would like to offer Emilio a deal to publish his story. The Rocky
Mountain News has also learned that the Mayor of Denver has given the
responsibility of dealing with this gang to a local Denver Marshal and his
posse. We at the Rocky Mountain News do not wish luck to this "Task
Force" because we at the Rocky Mountain News do not believe in "Luck".
We also believe nothing short of the Union army will clean this gang out of
the area.
"Stay
out of Denver street alleys that looks like this." says a recently released
Denver Police Department report. The study shows that 90% of Denver's
violent crimes occur in alleys just like this one. "Especialy after
dark." the report indicates that darkness is a key component in the
ability to safely commit a violent crime. "We now have a whole new
model to use when attempting to solve a violent crime in Denver, go look in
the alley." says one of the Denver detectives that work on the police
force.